Escrito 8 de Maio, 2014 (editado) Isto é um texto original que escrevi em cerca de 1h e meia enquanto ouvia musica. Gostava que pudessem dar algum feedback em relação ao que acharem que pode ser melhorado. Obrigado pela paciência. AVISO: Quem não gosta de textos que lidem com depressão e tópicos semelhantes, este texto não será do vosso agrado. Caso estejam curiosos sobre a musica, usei só esta o tempo todo: This world has no colour. It’s all grey…I wonder…If I left this world would the place I would end up in have colour?...Morning. I’m awoken by faint sounds. It’s my mother.“Wa…”“Wake…”“Wake up! You’ll be late!” she says several times.I get up without objecting. What good would it do anyway?Nothing would come out of it…. Nothing changes, no matter how much people try. In the end it’s all the same. Thinking this, I follow my daily routine and head to the bathroom to shower. Cold… That seems like the only thing I feel anymore. Should this cold stream that surrounds me take me with it to some unknown place, would I resist? Hmph, most likely not. It’s all in vain, after all… Still, would I awaken to something better? Would I see that which I have long lost?...After finishing my personal hygiene, I dress my uniform and go to the kitchen for breakfast. It’s different today. Instead of the average bowl of cereals, a cup of milk and two slices of toasted bread stand before me. Probably some new thing Mom is trying out or a foolish attempt to break the unchanging routine that is life. “Do you like it? I used a new type of butter that I bought yesterday.” She says so in a soft tone. “Yes, it’s good. I like it!”… It’s not that I actually like this thing. Food stopped having any taste weeks ago, but I always compliment my mother’s cooking so at least one of us can feel better about himself. And so she won’t discover how I feel . She hasn’t noticed yet so I must be doing a good job.“Well, I’m off to school. See you later!”. I walk out of the front door, now being able to drop that disgusting carefree smile I put on near my family. As if I could smile anymore… The path to school is filled with other students who are talking, laughing, on their phones or just plain walking. I just drag myself along this colourless scenery while maintaining a straight posture so I don’t look abnormal. I don’t know why honestly, since not a single soul appears to acknowledge my existence. I must have gotten used to this farce so much, it stays on when I’m outside of the safety of my room. Ah, there it is. The building where I must spend most of my days against my own will. As if this grey world wasn’t a prison already.I enter my classroom and head for my seat. Not so long ago, I would recognise these individuals labelled my “classmates”. Now they are all the same lump of grey. Shadows which only seem to further intensify my torment. Not that it would matter, as they never directed as much as a sound to me. After taking out my books, homeroom begins. As the teacher rambles on about something, I look at my notebook. A blank page. Like me, just some piece of paper which has been taken from where it belongs only to live out the rest of his days as a painful existence. You should be part of some tree in a forest…What should I be a part of? I don’t care as long as it’s somewhere where I can look upon the sky and feel beauty and not disgust.As the teacher leaves the classroom and break ends, the new teacher comes in. Right, now we have English class. “I have your tests, everyone!” he says. Oh great, here come the fleeting sounds of happiness for a number on a piece of paper. How pointless. “I’d like to announce that once again, Mr.Naguchi scored top of the class!”. Great, wonderful, I’m so glad… As if I’d be happy for something like that. He approaches my desk, leaves the paper on it and pats me on the shoulder. Cold. That’s all I feel. As if something lifeless was pulling me into the dark, to never come back. Go ahead, I wouldn’t struggle. “Keep up the excellent grades and you will have a good future!” the shade says as if to make me feel good about myself. Like I would care about this useless thing in front of me. In the end, it will have served me nothing. Nothing… Were I asked to describe my life in a word, that would be an accurate choice.At lunch, the “things” join for conversing with one another. As per usual, I open my box only to see a note on top of my lunch “ For you to enjoy with all your friends! – Mom” Of course. She thinks I have those things. Well, it might be for the best. I begin what would be called “eating”. For me it’s not even that anymore, it’s just filling my stomach out of necessity with something,After the only class in the afternoon, I head home, When returning home, I go a bit faster to return to my “safe zone”, where there’s a small feeling of peace. *woosh* I close the curtains and shutters so that irritating light doesn’t enter my room. After starting up my computer, I notice I’m home alone. Who am I trying to fool here? I’m always alone… I push those thoughts away as I begin watching what only colours I have left in my life… That’s right, all my joy and will are in these other worlds filled with marvels and mysteries. I wish I could go there. I’ve been all around the globe, but it’s not the same. Be it at home, in Paris, New York or Sidney the world is still bland and devoid of any beauty.But those other worlds, they are brimming with life, colour, joy….with my will to live. I spend another afternoon delving into them, seeing if anything changes about the world. How foolish. After all, no matter how much we humans try, we can’t change anything. “Honey, dinner time!”. Oh, it’s already this late. Good, the sooner night comes, the sooner I can fall asleep hoping I might never wake up here again.After finishing my meal and my homework, I decide to go to bed… No reasons to stay up whatsoever so why bother? But first, I’ll just drink a glass of the liquid I assume to be water… Even that has become lost to me. That’s when I see them… My mother’s sleeping pills, standing on the balcony. She must have forgotten them here. Out of a weird feeling, I read the side effects. “Nausea, sickness, headaches, sudden blackouts. WARNING: Do not consume in high doses. Might result in irreversible conditions or even death.”…Death? A light smile appears on my face. Of course, why hadn’t I thought of it before…. I can always press the “Quit Game” button. That’s right…. “If you want to change something, change yourself first.” All I need to do is travel far,far away. To a new world with colour and life. Where food and drink feel like food and drink. Where I can find something….somebody. It’s that simple.Before I realize it, I have about 20 pills in my right hand and a glass of water on my left. This is it. I’m at the entrance of a portal to other worlds. Do I use the ticket or not?... Hmph, what am I thinking. I put the pills in my mouth, drink the water and swallow them…. Now all I need to do is lay down and wait. Wait for the world to gain colour. I go outside and sit on the grass. I look up at the night sky. “Wow… it’s been a while since I saw the stars.” I murmur. I hope I can see them again where I am going. With friends I’ll make there… and maybe more. As I think about my new future, I feel drowsy. My body becomes heavy. As it’s too much for me to bear, I rest my head on the grass… and close my eyes.Farewell, colourless world. Editado 8 de Maio, 2014 por HellSphinx 6 membros gostaram disto! 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Escrito: 8 de Maio, 2014 pena ser em inglês .. mas está bom Partilhar esta mensagem Link para a mensagem Partilhar nas redes sociais
Escrito: 8 de Maio, 2014 Bem, muito obrigado. E escrevi em Inglês porque estou mais habituado a Inglês que Português. Escrever em Português sem ser para trabalhos de faculdade é estranho. XD 1 membro gostou disto! Partilhar esta mensagem Link para a mensagem Partilhar nas redes sociais
Escrito: 8 de Maio, 2014 (editado) Mesmo muito melancólico e depois o fim... Não te suicides =P Editado 8 de Maio, 2014 por Milenian Partilhar esta mensagem Link para a mensagem Partilhar nas redes sociais
Escrito: 8 de Maio, 2014 O texto em sim está bastante bom a meu ver, parabéns! mas espero que não retrate algo que estejas a sentir neste momento D: 1 membro gostou disto! Partilhar esta mensagem Link para a mensagem Partilhar nas redes sociais
Escrito: 12 de Maio, 2014 Mata-te aí pá xD tou a brincar claro, muito fixe o texto ;D Partilhar esta mensagem Link para a mensagem Partilhar nas redes sociais
Escrito: 15 de Maio, 2014 (editado) Isso quase parece a minha vida... Está tão bem feito que isto faz-me preocupar-me contigo. Espero mesmo que estes não sejam os teus pensamentos. O suicídio nunca é assim tão peaceful. Com drogas terás uma morte lenta e muito dolorosa e nem sempre corre bem e podes ir parar ao hospital com lesões para a vida. E não esperes novos mundos depois da morte, é mais provável ser um sono profundo e eterno, ou seja, a não existência. Se bem que para mim essa "não existência" já é muito apelativa, mas enfim... Olha, a maneira de ires para esses mundos com cor pode mesmo ser vendo-os no computador, ou melhor ainda cria um mundo tu mesmo! Podes fazer isso escrevendo histórias. Dá um gosto muito especial, posso dizer-te, eu diverti-me imenso a escrever. Uma pessoa vive os momentos como se fosse as personagens! Esse teu texto até pode ser continuado (até tive umas ideias de como o continuar). Ou então o ideal seria tentares ir lá para fora pintar este mundo que se chama realidade. Olha, eu ouvi duas descrições muito boas acerca da depressão por aí: "A depressão é como estarmo-nos a afogar mas toda a gente à nossa volta parece respirar sem problemas." <- É tão verdade, mas tão mentira. Muitos outros sofrem como tu e também "fingem" estar bem. Os que realmente respiram sem dificuldades podem achar-nos uns atrasados mentais, mas para mim os ignorantes são eles. Mas a minha preferida (e isto aplica-se muito ao meu caso): "A depressão é a inabilidade de conseguir idealizar um futuro promissor." <- É mesmo isto! Nós achamos o presente cinzento, o futuro negro como o breu, mas olhando para o passado, pode não ter sido cor de rosa, mas não foi acolhedor? O passado pareceu sempre ter sido tão bom. Mas nós nunca demos nem damos valor ao presente e os nossos medos e inseguranças pintam o futuro bastante negro. A sugestão que eu te dou é a seguinte. Ignora esse futuro. Enquanto estás neste mundo, diverte-te ao máximo e ignora os problemas que podem ou não vir a acontecer. Claro que ainda assim tens que assumir as tuas responsabilidades (escola/trabalho/etc...) pois isso assegura-te um local para dormir e comida em cima da mesa, pois sem estas coisas o futuro negro tornar-se-ia mesmo realidade. Enquanto o presente não for negro, nem ligues para o futuro e tenta dar cor à tua vida sem te preocupares demasiado. Se necessitares de falar com alguém, podes mandar-me pm By the way, your English is very good! ( ^ . ^ ) b Editado 15 de Maio, 2014 por Shiratori 2 membros gostaram disto! Partilhar esta mensagem Link para a mensagem Partilhar nas redes sociais